Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Good work if you can get it

Leonard Shapiro wrote a piece sympathetic toward blowhard Joe Theismann, who can't comprehend why he was fired from Monday Night Football. Is it because, oh, I don't know, he's an idiot who is in love with the sound of his voice and brings nothing to the table. I'm thrilled that I'll only be subjected to Theismann four times this year for Redskins preseason games, where perhaps he'll cede to the far better commentator Sonny Jurgensen, if for no other reason than he too is an ex-NFL quarterback. New MNF analyst Ron Jaworski is sure to make less absurd statements, and then try to defend an untenable position, like this exchange between Tony Kornheiser and Theismann in the preseason last year, in the much criticized Kornheiser's 2nd or 3rd game (thanks to Profootballtalk):

Theismann: I think you need a guy who's short, vertically challenged, maybe 5'9", 5'10" with a lot of 'quicks' that can double as a kick returner. Those are the guys that can transition into professional football. To come in and just try and play the wide receiver position-

Kornheiser (incredulous): He has to be short?

Theismann: Well-

Kornheiser: This is a prerequisite, to be short?

Theismann: I think you need to be short and quick. I think that gives you an opportunity-

Kornheiser: What if you were big and quick?

Theismann: You don't have the 'quicks' when you're that tall.

Kornheiser: Correct me if I'm wrong because you watch a lot more college football than I did, wasn't there a quarterback recently from Arkansas who was the quarterback who then became a wide receiver in the NFL?

Tirico: Matt Jones.

Kornheiser: Matt Jones, right? And he's big. Big and quick.

Theismann: But not at the kick returning position.

Kornheiser: (Makes barely audible noise connoting "Is this guy f--king serious?")

Theismann: No.

Tirico (wisely changing the subject): It's 48 to 17. . . .

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