Eek! A penis!

Garry Kasparov, maybe the greatest chess player ever, is not a fan of the Kremlin. Personally, I don't mind them as long as you don't feed them after midnight. Anyway, some of his comrades decided to express their disagreement in the most hilarious way possible.

How about that security? It's like they're not even phased by flying penises. I know I am, it's like some kind of recurring nightmare. And the female reporter at the end who tries not to look, like it's some kind of a train wreck of a penis.

My City Screams

I'm amped for The Spirit, largely because it's the legitimate directorial debut of Frank Miller. It's slated for a Christmas release according to the slick official website. If there was a Mount Rushmore of comic books heroes in the 1940s, the faces of Superman, Batman, Captain Marvel (AKA Shazam!), and The Spirit would be carved.

Baseball sucks

Richie Sexson has a lot to be upset about. His average and power numbers have plummeted since 2003 (he suffered a shoulder injury in 2004, and steroid testing in MLB started in 2005). And he's in the last year of a four year, $50 million deal he signed with Seattle prior to 2005, and he figures to take a massive pay cut. But it's just lame to charge the mound when the pitch doesn't come close, especially when your pitcher just hit two guys on the other team.

In relevant sports news, 86 days, 8 hours, 39 minutes until the Hall of Fame game in Canton, OH.

Stay classy Charles

Paging Dr. Emo

Exclusive footage of Spears baby

This is the coolest baby I've ever seen. Sorry Whitney.

Red Sox, red tires, and a red grill

43 year old Ivonne Hernandez, who looks like Nick Nolte's soulmate in this mugshot, took the Yanks/Sawx rivalry up to a whole new level when she drove her car, adorned with a Yankees bumper sticker and serenaded with "Yankees suck," into a crowd of Red Sox fans without braking. She killed Matthew Beaudoin, 29, which freaks me out a little because he's my age.

Hernandez is being represented by public defender James Quay. She's being charged with second degree murder, aggravated drunk driving, and taking sports way too seriously. I mean, I thought I took sports seriously. I guess being sad for a few days after an overtime game seven loss pales in comparison to accelerating into a crowd of people. And the Yankees and their fans are out of control. Between this and dropping $50,000 to dig up the Ortiz jersey, maybe they need to follow a sport with less then 162 games a season.

Nabbed

I watched game six of San Jose-Dallas last night, and 1:31 into OT Evgeni Nabokov made the greatest glove save I've ever seen, possibly in honor of my sister's birthday, since the game lasted until nearly 2:30 A.M. Of course, at about 5:20 that's about as long as a typical American League game.

OK Otis

I noticed this powerful soliloquy by Vikings DE Otis Grigsby on AOL Fanhouse today, and after eight minutes and explaining why the police killed his prison guard uncle, he says to try to get this out, and embed it. It's powerful stuff and a rapid eight minutes.