The frozen tundra of Wrigley Field

Here's a cool time lapse video of Wrigley Field personnel preparing it for the Winter Classic.

Otis! My man!

Outside the Verizon Center last night after the Capitals beat down the Canucks 5-1.

I ain't sayin she's a gold digger

I don't know if my favorite part is the midget or the giant pig.

(Karl Alzner is) The Shiznit

The DC Sports Bog has had a fantastic week. First Dan Steinberg's skewering of the Washington Nationals abysmal television ratings generated a buzz around the city. Apparently the Nationals draw an average 9,000 households a game, last in the league. Next to last? The Royals, at 28,000! In a much smaller market! The best part: the Nationals don't feel the pinch, since their revenues were guaranteed by the MASN deal. So who suffers? You guessed it - Peter Angelos!

And then, Steinberg turned Karl Alzner from emerging prospect to cult hero by the revelation that he carries a discarded fake mustache worn by Snoop Dogg in the jacket of his only suit! Out of every athlete's superstition that I've ever heard, this is the only one I could relate to. If I found a fake mustache used by Snoop Dogg, I'd definitely pocket it, and were it at a hockey game and if I played hockey for a living, I'd be inclined to bring it to games.

So is Snoop Dogg a closet hockey fan, attending the game in disguise? Of course, this could be Snoop Dogg's evil brother, watching the evil (but equally dapper) Wario Lemieux. Or did Snoop just wear it to avoid drug arrests? None of the above: the mustache was meant to show support to Anaheim enforcer George Parros.

Getting the band back together

The Washington Capitals have but one free agent left to sign, first pair defenceman Shaone Morrisonn, and are $332,788 under the cap, safely assuming Brian Pothier is placed on long-term injured reserve. If Sami Lepisto and his $700,000 is left off the roster, a safe assumption after general manager George McPhee said the team was looking to carry six or seven defencemen this coming season, then the Caps are over a million under the cap. If Chris Clark opens the season on LTIR, then the Caps would be $3,666,121 under the salary cap, Morrissonn's salary (to be determined by arbitration, I'd say around $1,800,000) notwithstanding. That number would dry up if Clark was activated, but it's a way to get around the salary cap if/when the Caps are over by less than a million dollars.

Here's what the Caps lineup should look like next year to start the season:

Alexander Ovechkin - Nicklas Backstrom - Viktor Kozlov
Brooks Laich - Sergei Fedorov - Alexander Semin
Tomas Fleischmann - Michael Nylander - Boyd Gordon
Matt Bradley - David Steckel - Donald Brashear

Mike Green - Shaone Morrisonn
Tom Poti - Jeff Schultz
John Erskine - Karl Alzner

Jose Theodore
Brent Johnson

Once Clark gets healthy, hopefully Eric Fehr and/or Sami Lepisto works their way into the lineup, and Alzner established himself as a top four defenceman, the lines could look like this:

Alexander Ovechkin - Nicklas Backstrom - Viktor Kozlov
Chris Clark - Sergei Fedorov - Alexander Semin
Brooks Laich - Michael Nylander - Eric Fehr
Matt Bradley - David Steckel - Boyd Gordon

Mike Green - Shaone Morrisonn
Tom Poti - Karl Alzner
Sami Lepisto - Jeff Schultz

I'm assuming Brian Pothier will be forced to retire due to concussions, and that the Capitals will be able to stay below the cap and won't be forced to make a trade, but that is a potentially devastating lineup, for my money the best in the east.

Like Lil' Bush without the evil

I'd like to be invited to a Oaks Christian High School party. Not to try to feed alcohol to underage girls, or at least that wouldn't be the only reason. Because the sons of Joe Montana, Wayne Gretzky, and Will Smith are on the football team, so I imagine the parties have some spectacular catering.

It seems the 6'2" Nicholas Montana has transferred to the Westlake Village, CA private school where he will compete with Trevor Gretzky, for playing time behind starter Tony Macarena (no connection to the song by Los del Rio), who is throwing to Trey Smith. Notre Dame starting QB Jimmy Clausen was named USA Today Offensive Player of the Year there for the 2006 season.

All of this begs the question (posed by Puck Daddy): Wayne Gretzky's Waikiki Hockey versus Joe Montana's "I'll be in my room masturbating" versus Barkley vs. Barney versus Michael Jordan on Super Fans for best athlete SNL skit? If you're wondering where Peyton Manning is, check the videos and transcripts to see how far the once mighty Saturday Night Live has fallen.

Nabbed

I watched game six of San Jose-Dallas last night, and 1:31 into OT Evgeni Nabokov made the greatest glove save I've ever seen, possibly in honor of my sister's birthday, since the game lasted until nearly 2:30 A.M. Of course, at about 5:20 that's about as long as a typical American League game.

Ovechkin makes the big time

NHL Star Called Up To Big Leagues To Play For NFL Team

The most electrifying man in sports entertainment

How excited am I about Alexander Ovechkin's playoff debut tonight?
I've seen almost every minute of every Caps game since Ovechkin signed his 13 year, $124 million extension January 10. Watched Ovechkin lead the league in:

Goals (65; 20%, or 13 goals, more than 2nd place).

Points (112).

Game-winning goals (11).

Power-play goals (22).

Even-strength goals (41).

Lead-changing goals (30).

Multi-goal games (13).

4-goal games (2).

Points in the last month of the season (31).

"Late-game pressure goals" (29) (defined by the league as overtime or third period goals when the score differential is 2 or less goals).

Late-game pressure points (44).

Game-winning goals in the third period (5).

Third period goals (26).

First period goals (17).

Shots (441).

And there's more statistical goodness: 11th in the league in hits, ninth in takeaways, 7th in plus/minus, the third most goals in his first three years in the league (behind Gretzky and Bossy), the third highest adjusted goal total in NHL history, and more ten or shot games since he entered the league than the next four players on the list combined. But with Ovechkin, you can't just rely on the stats. Because when you go to the video tape, you realize he transcends statistics.

He scores, he hits, and he gets the fans involved. I cannot fathom someone liking hockey and not buying what Ovechkin is selling.

The difference between the level of regular season and postseason play is greater than that of every other sport, so the dominant storyline of the second half of the NHL season is whether or not fans would get a chance to see Ovechkin in the playoffs. To what level can he take his play, and how elaborate will his celebrations be when he scores? I'm excited to find out.

The most compelling story in sports

On November 21, 2007, the Washington Capitals dropped their fifth straight game to drop to 6-14-1, an shockingly poor record when you consider that only 5 of the NHL's 30 clubs are below .500 today. The same evening, the Ottawa Senators lost for the second time in three games, dropping to 16-4-0. Fast forward to today. The Capitals have won nine out of ten and the Senators have lost five out of six, and the Caps, in ninth place, sit two points behind the sixth place Sens with two games remaining.

After the Caps dropped to 6-14-1, they replaced coach Glen Hanlon with Bruce Boudreau, who should be a favorite for the Jack Adams Trophy (coach of the year). 6-14-1 equates to 13 out of a possible 42 points through 21 games, or 31%. The L.A. Kings currently have the worst record in the NHL with 69 points though 80 games, or 43.1% of the possible points. The Senators started out 15-2-0, 30 out of a possible 34 points or 88.2%. The Red Wings are wrapping up one of the best seasons ever with 111 points through 79 games, or 70.3%. So it's impossible to overstate how poor Washington's start or phenomenal Ottawa's start were. Truly amazing turnarounds.

Last night, I dined in hell

Last night I saw a 3-2 thriller where Russian machine Alexander Ovechkin scored the game tying and winning goals late to push his total to 56, tied for the highest total since the 2000-01 season and within four of sixty. Olaf Kolzig notched his 300th win with the Capitals, the fifth goalie to win his first 300 games with one team, joining Jacques Plante, Marty Brodeur, Mike Richter, and Turk Broda, who I've never heard of. Kolzig is the 23rd goalie to reach the milestone and one win behind Richter for 22nd place. And a Flyers loss pulled the Caps within five points of the eight spot.

But more important than all of this is the fact that I made it into the highlight, looking pretty damn thrilled with Ovechkin's game winner. I'm probably cut out of the standard definition broadcast, further evidence of the awesomeness of HD.

Coach Jules Winfield

The greatest sports song ever?

The classic sports ballad by Goldfinger is making a comeback thanks to being on Juno's soundtrack. I think it's pretty damn catchy.

Wayne Gretzky, the only man I’d have sex with
Wayne Gretzky, I’d be intimate with
Wayne Gretzky, I think he’s kinda sexy
Wayne Gretzky, I wonder what he looks like naked

I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the Great One
I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the league’s leading scorer

Wayne Gretzky, I know he’s a married man
But maybe, he’d be attracted to me
Darrin Pfeiffer, stupid American boy
Wayne Gretzky, very handsome Canadian man

I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the Great One
I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the league’s leading scorer

[spoken]
Yeah, I wonder what it would be like?
Ah, it’ll never happen, it’s just a pipe dream.
Wait a minute — I’m not even gay, I’m married!
Pssh, whatever.

Wayne Gretzky
I love you Wayne Gretzky, yeah

From Russia with love

I first heard reports of this over the weekend, but didn't completely believe it until I saw Alexander Ovechkin and his girlfriend at the Wizards game last night. Apparently, Ovy met this girl at a Russian dating site (Odnoklassniki), and the Capitals put her on the fast track for a Visa. They first started talking online in November, and they met face to face for the first time February 7. Since then the Caps are 2-1-2, and Ovy's 2-3-5.

Forget all the eHarmony commercials - this is the biggest endorsement for a dating website ever. Sign up now and maybe you'll meet a superstar athlete! I imagine getting a date with a professional athlete making eight figures on a Russian dating site would be the equivalent of me getting matched up with Scarlett Johansson on JDate.

NHL player commits lame crime

While NFL and NBA players have histories of gun crimes, NHL players apparently commit the lamest crimes possible. Canadians defensemen Ryan O'Byrne was arrested for stealing a woman's purse last night. $20 was missing for the purse, which was presumably spent on virgin Shirley Temples.

Of course the NFL is 1st, but the NHL is 5th?!?

Professional football still reins in the latest Harris Poll, but I was blown away by the fact that the NHL was fifth, ahead of professional and college basketball.

Oy vey Ovy

How great of a season is Alex Ovechkin having? How about the greatest goal scoring season of all time? He's on pace for 68.3 goals, with an average of 5.5 goals being scored per NHL game. When the Great One scored 92 in the 1981-82 season their were an average of 8.03 goals being scored per NHL games. If you adjust for the lower rate of scoring, Gretzky's 92 translates to 63 this season. James Mirtle concluded that Ovechkin's pace is 0.2 goals off Brett Hull's all time adjusted single season goal total. This is the equivalent of Greg Maddux in 1995 (the year after the strike) posting an ERA of 1.63 when the league ERA was 4.23. After Tom Brady and ARod, Ovechkin is the most dominant athlete in team sports right now.

Is Ovechkin the best athlete in the history of DC area sports?

The Capitals have never had anything close to a superstar. They've had some Hall of Fame caliber players, for the most part before (Larry Murphy, Mike Gartner) or after (Dino Ciccarelli) their primes. But Alexander Ovechkin is miles ahead of anyone they've ever had. He's the MVP of the league right now by a mile and leads the NHL in post-lockout goals by an increasing margin. He's got an absurd 29 goals in his last 30 games and leads the league in goals and points. Sidney Crosby is considered the face of the NHL, but I've heard questions about his attitude; keep in mind he's injured because he complained to a ref instead of bracing to hit the boards. Ovechkin has been a consensus top two player for the last two years, but now he seems to be making the jump to an all time great.

The Orioles have had some Hall of Fame players over the years, most notably Frank and Brooks Robinson, Jim Palmer, and Cal Ripken, Jr. The list of great Bullets begins with Wes Unseld and ends with Elvin Hayes. And the Redskins have won five championships going back to the days of Sammy Baugh, professional football's first superstar. The Terrapins' biggest star over the years was Len Bias, who won two ACC Player of the Year Awards but no Naismiths. Ray Lewis, the face of the Ravens, is maybe the most dominant defensive player in the NFL over the last decade.

Out of these, Baugh is the only consensus most dominant athlete in their sport at one time, although Lewis and Bias were in the argument. Lewis was overshadowed by the dominant skill position guys like Marshall Faulk, Peyton Manning, and Brett Favre, and Bias never made it past the Sweet 16. But every single one I mentioned played in front of bigger crowds than the 14,000 or so that are coming to see the Capitals, and their exploits consistently led local sports. Much like Ovechkin's game last night. If the Caps can make a run to at least the conference finals this year, you have to figure that the fans will come, the Caps will be above the fold in The Post, and Ovechkin will own this city.

Time to flush the turd

The NHL can't catch a break. Every story with any staying power about the NHL is negative, such as the gambling ring involving Rick Tocchet and Wayne Gretzky's wife, or the various acts of violence that draw suspensions of 20 games or more. Raging alcoholic and power forward Chris Simon has Beamoned his own record of longest suspension (25 games) with a 30 game suspension for trying to slice Jarkko Ruutu's Achilles with his skate. I don't care how silly that guy's name looks in print, trying to cut him with a blade is absolutely the cheapest shot I've ever seen in my 20 years of following hockey (and I've seen many), and Chris Simon should immediately be banned by the NHL.

Thirty games? Who gives a shit? That's the equivalent of six games in the NFL. That's a steroid suspension and a half. I'm glad that American sports have cracked down on performance enhancers, but going after someone on the ice with a deadly weapon is far more damaging to the sport. If the NHL gave him a lifetime suspension it would be at least somewhat positive press, because they would be showing some backbone. It's like politics - no one has ever lost votes for being too tough on crime. Last year Albert Haynesworth dragged his cleat over the exposed face of Andre Gurode, earning a five game suspension. Granted, this was a more lenient penalty that what Simon received, but it was a less egregious crime. There's attempting to hurt and then there's attempting to disable.

The mother of all jumbotrons

Get a load of the new Verizon Center jumbotron! Click here for a 286 kb, full size version. Does it looks like there's a blue Capital inside or is it just me? It looks unbelievable, but I'm a little sad because that means that my NHL 08 will be a little out of date. Props to Capitalfanatic.com for the pic.