I ain't sayin she's a gold digger

I don't know if my favorite part is the midget or the giant pig.

Getting the band back together

The Washington Capitals have but one free agent left to sign, first pair defenceman Shaone Morrisonn, and are $332,788 under the cap, safely assuming Brian Pothier is placed on long-term injured reserve. If Sami Lepisto and his $700,000 is left off the roster, a safe assumption after general manager George McPhee said the team was looking to carry six or seven defencemen this coming season, then the Caps are over a million under the cap. If Chris Clark opens the season on LTIR, then the Caps would be $3,666,121 under the salary cap, Morrissonn's salary (to be determined by arbitration, I'd say around $1,800,000) notwithstanding. That number would dry up if Clark was activated, but it's a way to get around the salary cap if/when the Caps are over by less than a million dollars.

Here's what the Caps lineup should look like next year to start the season:

Alexander Ovechkin - Nicklas Backstrom - Viktor Kozlov
Brooks Laich - Sergei Fedorov - Alexander Semin
Tomas Fleischmann - Michael Nylander - Boyd Gordon
Matt Bradley - David Steckel - Donald Brashear

Mike Green - Shaone Morrisonn
Tom Poti - Jeff Schultz
John Erskine - Karl Alzner

Jose Theodore
Brent Johnson

Once Clark gets healthy, hopefully Eric Fehr and/or Sami Lepisto works their way into the lineup, and Alzner established himself as a top four defenceman, the lines could look like this:

Alexander Ovechkin - Nicklas Backstrom - Viktor Kozlov
Chris Clark - Sergei Fedorov - Alexander Semin
Brooks Laich - Michael Nylander - Eric Fehr
Matt Bradley - David Steckel - Boyd Gordon

Mike Green - Shaone Morrisonn
Tom Poti - Karl Alzner
Sami Lepisto - Jeff Schultz

I'm assuming Brian Pothier will be forced to retire due to concussions, and that the Capitals will be able to stay below the cap and won't be forced to make a trade, but that is a potentially devastating lineup, for my money the best in the east.

The most electrifying man in sports entertainment

How excited am I about Alexander Ovechkin's playoff debut tonight?
I've seen almost every minute of every Caps game since Ovechkin signed his 13 year, $124 million extension January 10. Watched Ovechkin lead the league in:

Goals (65; 20%, or 13 goals, more than 2nd place).

Points (112).

Game-winning goals (11).

Power-play goals (22).

Even-strength goals (41).

Lead-changing goals (30).

Multi-goal games (13).

4-goal games (2).

Points in the last month of the season (31).

"Late-game pressure goals" (29) (defined by the league as overtime or third period goals when the score differential is 2 or less goals).

Late-game pressure points (44).

Game-winning goals in the third period (5).

Third period goals (26).

First period goals (17).

Shots (441).

And there's more statistical goodness: 11th in the league in hits, ninth in takeaways, 7th in plus/minus, the third most goals in his first three years in the league (behind Gretzky and Bossy), the third highest adjusted goal total in NHL history, and more ten or shot games since he entered the league than the next four players on the list combined. But with Ovechkin, you can't just rely on the stats. Because when you go to the video tape, you realize he transcends statistics.

He scores, he hits, and he gets the fans involved. I cannot fathom someone liking hockey and not buying what Ovechkin is selling.

The difference between the level of regular season and postseason play is greater than that of every other sport, so the dominant storyline of the second half of the NHL season is whether or not fans would get a chance to see Ovechkin in the playoffs. To what level can he take his play, and how elaborate will his celebrations be when he scores? I'm excited to find out.

The most compelling story in sports

On November 21, 2007, the Washington Capitals dropped their fifth straight game to drop to 6-14-1, an shockingly poor record when you consider that only 5 of the NHL's 30 clubs are below .500 today. The same evening, the Ottawa Senators lost for the second time in three games, dropping to 16-4-0. Fast forward to today. The Capitals have won nine out of ten and the Senators have lost five out of six, and the Caps, in ninth place, sit two points behind the sixth place Sens with two games remaining.

After the Caps dropped to 6-14-1, they replaced coach Glen Hanlon with Bruce Boudreau, who should be a favorite for the Jack Adams Trophy (coach of the year). 6-14-1 equates to 13 out of a possible 42 points through 21 games, or 31%. The L.A. Kings currently have the worst record in the NHL with 69 points though 80 games, or 43.1% of the possible points. The Senators started out 15-2-0, 30 out of a possible 34 points or 88.2%. The Red Wings are wrapping up one of the best seasons ever with 111 points through 79 games, or 70.3%. So it's impossible to overstate how poor Washington's start or phenomenal Ottawa's start were. Truly amazing turnarounds.

Last night, I dined in hell

Last night I saw a 3-2 thriller where Russian machine Alexander Ovechkin scored the game tying and winning goals late to push his total to 56, tied for the highest total since the 2000-01 season and within four of sixty. Olaf Kolzig notched his 300th win with the Capitals, the fifth goalie to win his first 300 games with one team, joining Jacques Plante, Marty Brodeur, Mike Richter, and Turk Broda, who I've never heard of. Kolzig is the 23rd goalie to reach the milestone and one win behind Richter for 22nd place. And a Flyers loss pulled the Caps within five points of the eight spot.

But more important than all of this is the fact that I made it into the highlight, looking pretty damn thrilled with Ovechkin's game winner. I'm probably cut out of the standard definition broadcast, further evidence of the awesomeness of HD.

From Russia with love

I first heard reports of this over the weekend, but didn't completely believe it until I saw Alexander Ovechkin and his girlfriend at the Wizards game last night. Apparently, Ovy met this girl at a Russian dating site (Odnoklassniki), and the Capitals put her on the fast track for a Visa. They first started talking online in November, and they met face to face for the first time February 7. Since then the Caps are 2-1-2, and Ovy's 2-3-5.

Forget all the eHarmony commercials - this is the biggest endorsement for a dating website ever. Sign up now and maybe you'll meet a superstar athlete! I imagine getting a date with a professional athlete making eight figures on a Russian dating site would be the equivalent of me getting matched up with Scarlett Johansson on JDate.

Oy vey Ovy

How great of a season is Alex Ovechkin having? How about the greatest goal scoring season of all time? He's on pace for 68.3 goals, with an average of 5.5 goals being scored per NHL game. When the Great One scored 92 in the 1981-82 season their were an average of 8.03 goals being scored per NHL games. If you adjust for the lower rate of scoring, Gretzky's 92 translates to 63 this season. James Mirtle concluded that Ovechkin's pace is 0.2 goals off Brett Hull's all time adjusted single season goal total. This is the equivalent of Greg Maddux in 1995 (the year after the strike) posting an ERA of 1.63 when the league ERA was 4.23. After Tom Brady and ARod, Ovechkin is the most dominant athlete in team sports right now.