So Lance, what's more painful? Cancer or sitting through an Olsen twins movie?

In maybe the strangest celebrity couple since Jill St. John and Henry Kissinger, Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen have been linked by the New York Post and New York Daily News. Page six's source says "they were making out all night. They left together around 2 A.M." So he goes from Sheryl Crow, who is nearly ten years older than Lance, to Ashley Olsen, who is about 15 years younger? And she's got twice as much money and half as much lip? (I mean seriously, how can you date a girl who advocates using one square per trip to the bathroom?) Good work my friend. I think even Peter La Fleur would give him some props.