Best. Obit. Ever.

Arthur Jones, the inventor of Nautilus weight lifting machines, died at 80 on Tuesday. He smoked most of his life, had six wives, and hunted big game, killing "630 elephants." He was also an accomplished pilot who logged over 44,000 hours, often with exotic animals. I'd like to build up an obit like that. I've killed 47 fruit flies this month alone, so maybe I'm on my way.