Everybody Loves Gilbert

If you haven't kept up with Agent Zero's blog over the last week you are missing out. To inaugurate Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, he posted that he doesn't believe that there is any such thing as shark attacks, because the people who get bit are invading the sharks' space, so the sharks are defending their space.

"So if you’re swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that’s called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack.

A shark attack is if you’re chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that’s a shark attack. Now, if you’re chilling in the water, that is called invasion of space. So I have never heard of a shark attack."

Apparently this was similar to a comedy routine by Ian Edwards, and he was very mildly criticized on PTI for stealing the bit for his blog. So Arenas shot back.

"Listen, nobody even heard of Ian Edwards before me. He’s no Chris Rock. I helped him become famous. Now everybody is going to YouTube and looking him up.

The joke was worth about $7 when I heard it, now that I’ve used it’s probably worth a little bit more. I’ll sell it back to him for $7.78. Seventy-eight cents, Ian, you can put that in a royalties check made out to me.

Puffy and Ashanti made careers out of stealing other people’s beats. This is America, the land of the reused."

Mad props to Arenas for having a personality and providing such frequent updates to his blog. I steal all kinds of stuff for my blog; I typically give credit but not always. Oden seems to be a pleasant guy and Schilling is as opinionated as they get, but their blogs are nowhere near as entertaining as peaking into Hibachi's mind.