No amount of Old Spice swagger will make up for this

In what has vaulted past Tatum Bell stealing Rudi Johnson's bags and Brett Favre breaking down Packers' tendencies with the Lions as the NFL story of the year, Brian Urlacher's baby momma has accused him and his current girlfriend of painting his three year old son's toenails are putting him in pink Cinderella diapers.

Yeah. And you thought Michael Strahan's ex wife was a bitch. Well, maybe that's just how the most overrated linebacker in the NFL (yet only the second most overrated linebacker taken in the 2000 draft) was raised.

Kornheiser: "[noun] [verb] Brett Favre!"

I've been a fan of Tony Kornheiser's work ever since the nascent days of the Bandwagon in 1991. And I firmly believe that PTI is the best sports discussion show on television. But I can't take anymore of Kornheiser's insertion of Brett Favre or Tom Brady into every Monday Night Football broadcast, often times every drive. Last night Kornheiser mentioned Favre more than Aaron Rodgers and twice as much as Drew Brees in a game in which he wasn't playing. Keep in mind it was an NFC matchup, so Favre and the Jets were in no way pertinent to the teams actually playing.

I do give credit, however, to Kornheiser's ousting of Joe Theismann from the booth. Ron Jaworski is one of the best in the world at breaking down quarterback play on tape, and it's a joke that it's taken this long for him to get a spot in the booth. And Jaws has no trouble standing up to his benefactor: he finally got Kornheiser to stop the Favre references for a few minutes last night.

Kornheiser: Aaron Rodgers, every time he goes out, he competes against the other quarterback and he competes against Brett Favre. There is not only Drew Brees to worry about, there's Favre, too.

Jaworski: I think that is ridiculous. I think it is an absolutely ridiculous statement. When you are a quarterback, your focus is on your opponent.

Kornheiser: I don't mean consciously, I mean subconsciously.

Jaworski: I don't think so. You have to focus on what you have to do. He doesn't care what Drew Brees is doing, or Brett Favre. He's worried about his job.

Kornheiser: Well, thanks for ruining my... whole metaphor.

The greatest commercial ever

Brightening the affront to taste that was last night's MNF snoozer was the most spectacular commercial I've ever seen, a spectacular display of product placement that made me reconsider my decision to bypass Guitar Hero World Tour.

Seriously?

Philip Lutzenkirchen of the Lassiter Trojans makes the most creative football play I've seen in years.

So when is Mike Leach going to send Michael Crabtree flying out of the back of the end zone to tip it to a teammate? It's great to know we haven't reached the final frontier.