Thursday, February 28, 2008
Spiezio is accused of speeding, cutting across several lanes, crossing through the oncoming traffic lanes, driving over a curb, and crashing into a fence. The crash knocked down a fence pole and blew out the front two tires of the car. Spiezio is accused of getting out of the car and fleeing the scene on foot.
The defendant is accused of running to his Irvine condominium complex and going to a friend's condo, who lived in the same complex. While his friend attempted to clean up the defendant, Spiezio is accused of vomiting in his friend's room. When the friend made a comment about the vomit, Spiezio is accused of becoming angry and attacking his friend, punching him repeatedly and throwing him against a wall.
Now, out of all these offenses, I do confess to throwing up in a friend's room. More than one, in fact. But I didn't kick any of their asses for commenting on it. At least, I don't think I did, and if I tried I guarantee I was unsuccessful.
This is the third major alcohol related problem with the Cardinals in the last 12 months, starting with manager Tony La Russa's DUI arrest last March. Reliever Josh Hancock died in a car crash in April, somehow managing not to take anyone with him. There is talk that Spiezio had trouble coping with the loss of Hancock, but that is pretty much the opposite of an excuse. Regarding Spiezio's release, La Russa said "I think it's a consistent message about what the team represents." How about some penalty to the manager?
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
His next three movies: Public Enemies, about John Dillinger, Pretty Boy Floyd, and other OGs; Killing Pablo, starring Javier Bardem as Pablo Escobar; and Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins, a possible second trilogy for which he recently landed the role of John Connor. Bale lends instant credibility to the revitalized franchise, which hopefully can avoid comparisons to the Star Wars prequels.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Darren McFadden and Joe Flacco also had strong combines, but they could only improve their stock so much. The guy who looks like this year's Warren Sapp/Randy Moss is LSU DT Glenn Dorsey. The consensus top seven is Dorsey, Sedrick Ellis, Vernon Gholston, Chris Long, Jake Long, Darren McFadden, and Matt Ryan. Every one of those guys had big weekends but Dorsey, who has to deal with questions about a broken leg from a year and a half ago.
If Dorsey gets past the Raiders at five, he could easily slide to nine. The Jets and Patriots have the next two picks, but run a 3-4, in which Dorsey wouldn't be an ideal fit. The Ravens have a history of taking the best player available, but defensive tackle is the strongest position on the team. There's no way he gets past the Bengals at nine. He was clearly the best player on the best team last year, and reportedly a high character guy as well.
Friday, February 22, 2008
That's right, it's Barrack Obama from his days at Occidental.
1. Miami Dolphins - Chris Long DE Virginia
2. St. Louis Rams - Glenn Dorsey DT LSU
3. Atlanta Falcons - Matt Ryan QB Boston College
4. Oakland Raiders - Darren McFadden RB Arkansas
5. Kansas City Chiefs - Jake Long OT Michigan
6. New York Jets - Vernon Gholston DE Ohio State
7. New England Patriots - Leodis McKelvin CB Troy State
8. Baltimore Ravens - Sedrick Ellis DT USC
9. Cincinnati Bengals - Derrick Harvey DE Florida
10. New Orleans Saints - Mike Jenkins CB South Florida
11. Buffalo Bills - Aqib Talib CB Kansas
12. Denver Broncos - Ryan Clady OT Boise State
13. Carolina Panthers - Chris Williams OT Vanderbilt
14. Chicago Bears - Rashard Mendenhall RB Illinois
15. Detroit Lions - Jeff Otah OT Pitt
16. Arizona Cardinals - Phillip Merling DE Clemson
17. Minnesota Vikings - DeSean Jackson WR Cal
18. Houston Texans - Jonathan Stewart RB Oregon
19. Philadelphia Eagles - Kenny Phillips S Miami
20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Brian Brohm QB Louisville
21. Washington Redskins - Calais Campbell DE Miami
22. Dallas Cowboys - Sam Baker OT USC
23. Pittsburgh Steelers - Malcolm Kelly WR Oklahoma
24. Tennessee Titans - Linas Sweed WR Texas
25. Seattle Seahawks - Kentwan Balmer DT UNC
26. Jacksonville Jaguars - Mario Manningham WR Michigan
27. San Diego Chargers - Branden Albert OG Virginia
28. Dallas Cowboys - Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie CB Tennessee State
29. San Francisco 49ers - Early Doucet WR LSU
30. Green Bay Packers - Antoine Cason CB Arizona
31. New England Patriots - Walter Iooss, Jr. Cameraman SI
32. New York Giants - Keith Rivers OLB USC
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Tony: Who do we have on the phone next. Is it you, Junior?
John Feinstein: Hey, Tony. Hey, do you know if I left a pair of brown suede gloves at your house the other night?
Tony: Hmm. I don’t recall seeing them.
John Feinstein: I think I left them on the table in entranceway. They were very simple brown suede gloves. Did you see them?
Tony: Oh, I think I may have! How do you want (clears throat) to arrange for picking them up?
John Feinstein: Well, if you could simply leave them by the door, somewhat off to the side, perhaps obscured by a bush, that would be fabulous. Oh, and did your wife get the cassoulet recipe from my wife?
Tony: I believe she did.
John Feinstein: Great, great. Did you still need help moving that desk at your house?
Tony: Well, let me explain what happened with the desk. I, (clears throat) as you know, CANNOT fix anything.
(everyone in the studio laughs for no reason)
Tony: Can’t fix anything at all. Anyway, (clears throat) we have this lovely desk that my wife found at a consignment shop. Very gorgeous, hand-crafted. Anyway, we had to move it (clears throat) so that the contractors could install the toilet. So anyway…
(cut to 90 minutes later)
Tony: …so the desk can’t be moved. Are we still on the air? You know, (clears throat) I completely forgot we were talking to some sort of audience. Anything else you want to add, Junior?
John Feinstein: Buy my new book, “Living on the Black”. I know Coach K. George Bush is a prick. I have several extremely liberal viewpoints. Army-Navy is an unmatched tradition in sports. Random golf anecdote. I wish Georgetown would play in my charity basketball tourney, but John Thompson is a dick. Bob Knight is an asshole. We need to get rid of guns in this country. Did you know I write books for children too? I think Gary Williams is exasperated about something.
Tony: Okay, thank you, Junior!
John Feinstein: I really wish you’d stop calling me that. It’s fucking annoying.
Wayne Gretzky, the only man I’d have sex with
Wayne Gretzky, I’d be intimate with
Wayne Gretzky, I think he’s kinda sexy
Wayne Gretzky, I wonder what he looks like naked
I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the Great One
I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the league’s leading scorer
Wayne Gretzky, I know he’s a married man
But maybe, he’d be attracted to me
Darrin Pfeiffer, stupid American boy
Wayne Gretzky, very handsome Canadian man
I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the Great One
I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the league’s leading scorer
Yeah, I wonder what it would be like?
Ah, it’ll never happen, it’s just a pipe dream.
Wait a minute — I’m not even gay, I’m married!
I love you Wayne Gretzky, yeah
When you consistently see pedigree guys like Brady Quinn and Aaron Rodgers slipping into the 20s, and small college guys or even BCS conference backups like Matt Cassell dominating later rounds, it's easy to envision Brennan going completely undrafted. It's far more likely than him going in the first four rounds.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Forget all the eHarmony commercials - this is the biggest endorsement for a dating website ever. Sign up now and maybe you'll meet a superstar athlete! I imagine getting a date with a professional athlete making eight figures on a Russian dating site would be the equivalent of me getting matched up with Scarlett Johansson on JDate.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Randolph is averaging 17 and 10, Frye is averaging 6.6 and 4.5. The Knicks are on pace to win 24 games after winning 33 last year; the Blazers are on pace to win 44 after winning 32 last year. So Portland trades a perennial 20 and 10 guy, 2 decent contracts, and mid eight figures for a 6'11" pulse, and they win the trade. How the hell is anyone supposed to evaluate NBA trades, when this has to be considered a decent haul? You can argue other reasons for Portland's improvement and the Knicks' fall, but there were no other substantial changes in terms of personnel. The moral of the story is you don't want to have negative personalities on your team, no matter how productive they are.
Friday, February 15, 2008
From page 101: Mr. Farrell. There was one thing Andy omitted about his dad besides all his physical problems or -- as you can expect, these physical problems caused him to be unable, to work to support his family, really pitched him into a deep depression; and he was suicidal for a while. And that was part of the reason he turned to using HGH. So it's on both the physical, emotional, psychological level a very sensitive subject for the family.
So again Pettitte really comes out of this thing as the cleanest steroid user in the history of professional sports. The moral to this story: truth will set you free!
Chandler police detective David Ramer said officers pursued several leads in the case but couldn’t identify any suspects.
I've got a suspect for you.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Why did Phoenix felt the need to trade a 29 year old averaging 16 and 10 this year for a 35 year old averaging 14 and 8 this year? And throw in their backup point guard and go over into luxury tax territory to do it? When they were a couple suspensions away from the Championship last year? The reason I root for the Suns versus the rest of the NBA elite is because they play a nontraditional brand of basketball, and now they feel the need to trade one of their big three for a center with an unmovable contract.
In response, the Mavs overpay for a traditional point guard, trading all their roster flexibility and maybe their best young player (Devin Harris) for another unmovable contract. More and more I'm convinced this is the Lakers' year, thanks to the maturation of Andrew Bynum, and even more impressively, Mitch Kupchak.
But I really don't care who can prove what or whether the feds are going after Clemens for perjury, although if they don't you can't help but question the motivation for going after Bonds and not Clemens. But I do care that Clemens thinks that anyone believes that his wife is a raging steroid user, that Andy Pettite apparently contracted Alzheimer's in the offseason, and that whether or not Congresspeople believe Clemens follows completely along party lines, with Republicans siding with Clemens and Democrats siding with McNamee.
The highlights yesterday were every time testimony from a new witness was introduced, such as Petitte's wife and Clemens' nanny. Representative Burton also provided some entertainment with his grandstanding "lie after lie after lie" speech, but the fact that he kept having to stop to talk to a page took away from its impact. In the same speech he questioned "Why in the world would you work for someone who was unethical?" which drew a chuckle from me coming from a politician.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
"I heard someone say there are no more George Youngs or Jim Finks in this league, people who really know the game. And I think that happened here. I don't think Dan surrounded himself with enough football people."
If it were my interview, the obvious follow up question is "I don't think Dan has surrounded himself with any football people," or perhaps "You mean Vinny Cerrato isn't enough football people for you?"
Fassel has also been doing the radio show circuit, telling Mike & the Mad Dog
"My biggest mistake was going to Baltimore," Fassel said. "That was the biggest mistake. I don’t think I needed to do that and when I went there and it was such a mess and got caught up in all that stuff."
I'm a little biased, but I think it was better for him to be the assistant coach of a potential playoff team as opposed to unemployed, but maybe I'm wrong. In all seriousness, the thing you have to realize about fired head coaches is that is they immediately take another job they're working for free. For example, when the Redskins fired Marty Schottenheimer they were required to pay him the rest of his contract minus whatever he made in coaching during the duration of that contract. So when he immediately took the San Diego job, Snyder owed him the terms of his contract minus the terms of his contract with the Chargers. But Fassel had sat out a few years and had fallen out of the rotation of guys who came to mind when a spot opened up.
He also told the John Thompson Show (whose motto is "occasionally with John Thompson") that the bloggers are to blame.
"When I got the New York Giants job I remember telling my family that, 'You know, you cannot hold the lead in these jobs in major markets.' Because you've got bloggers, and they're saying, 'No, this isn't the right guy, and that ain't the right guy,' and you can't hold the lead, because you are going to take the hit. I mean, when you're the lead dog, you're going to take the hit. And I think the longer it went, the longer it went, the longer it went..."
Besides sounding like the end of The Aviator there, now he just sounds whiny. Every single coaching hire this season has come under scrutiny, and most teams don't have the luxury of buying the fan sites. But what I found most telling is his description of what was asked by Snyder and Cerrato in the same interview.
"Everything. From the standpoint of ok, When we travel, how do you want the plane to be? Who sits up front? Who sits here? How are you gonna do this? When we travel do you have bed checks? Do you put the team in a hotel Saturday night? Practice, what do you think about practicing and training camp and all that stuff? Sometimes one question leads to another. I will say this, they are very organized, VERY organized. Vinny basically asks the questions and he's got about five pages of questions."
When I picture these interviews with potential head coaches, I never imagine being asked asinine questions like seating plans on the airplane. I could imagine asking if you believe the players should wear suits on the airplane, but I can't picture Dan Rooney asking Bill Cowher if Rod Woodson would sit next to Greg Lloyd on team flights.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Peterson averaged 5.6 yards per carry this, his only, season, a number that's off the charts. That's more than Emmitt Smith (15 seasons), Walter Payton (13), Marshall Faulk (12), or Earl Campbell (9) ever averaged. In fact, the only guys I could come up with who exceeded 5.6 ypc in a full season are Jim Brown (three times in 9 seasons), Barry Sanders (twice in 10), and O.J. Simpson (once in 11).
Profootballtalk believes that Cerrato was the biggest reason for the surprise hire, as he would have felt threatened by any kind of big name. Another popular school of thought is that no one wanted the job, because having Snyder and Cerrato control the roster was putting the coach in a position to fail. I was trying to come up with a worse hire than Zorn, and the first two I came up with were the last two hires by the Raiders: Lane Kiffin, who had been a college OC for one season, and Art Shell, who had been out of coaching for more than a decade. So that's what the Redskins have become: the Raiders of the east coast. A high spending version of the Raiders.
Here are my biggest concerns with the hire:
- The Seahawks players and front office had seven years to get to know Zorn, and yet they still chose Jim Mora, Jr. over him as Holmgren's successor. Granted, the Redskins seemed to want Mora as well, but Washington had a relationship with neither coach. Seattle knew Zorn and went with Mora.
- During the press conference it was incredibly obvious that Zorn was overwhelmed. I'm willing to give him a pass on calling the Redskins' colors "maroon and black," but you couldn't help but get the impression that Zorn didn't believe he earned the job. "I was taken aback, but not quite speechless because the first words out of my mouth were 'Certainly, I'd like to do that.' It was a little bit shocking." Tony Sparano and John Harbaugh have also never been coordinators, but they both gave the impression that they believed they should be head coaches. I'm not getting that from Zorn.
- Zorn is expected to bring the West Coast Offense to D.C. It's not enough that Jason Campbell will be learning his seventh new offense in eight seasons going back to college. But the Redskins' personnel is suited to be a vertical offense as opposed to a diagonal offense. Their starters are both 5'10" and 200 lb or less, their top four wide receivers average 5'11" 197.5 lb. West coast receivers are expected to be larger, in order to shield the balls from defenders on slants.
- Zorn was hired based on his reputation for working with quarterbacks. As head coach he could still serve the duties of quarterbacks coach and work hands on with Campbell. As head coach he has to be a CEO, taking away his strength as a teacher working with QBs. And now he needs to hire an offensive coordinator and a quarterbacks coach, after the most sought after position coaches have been hired by more organized franchises. Basically, would a combination of Fassel as head coach and Zorn as OC be more desirable than Zorn as head coach and whoever they can hire (Titans assistant Sherman Smith is reported to be the target) as OC?
- Why did they feel the need to give him $3 million a year? The typical starting salary for a new head coach is $2-$2.3 million a year. The obvious answer is that the more Snyder spends on him, the more he can say "look how sure I am about my choice."
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
Now, as you probably know you will never find a more wretched hive of scum aand villiany than at the Mos Eisley spaceport, so it's safe to assume this guy has seen Star Wars at least ten times. Which begs the question, is Star Wars on the verge of becoming the official movie of crazy people? Catcher in the Rye was the book favored by crazies Mark David Chapman and John Hinkley, Jr. (Also a fan of Taxi Driver). Over 30 years after the release of Star Wars, people who grew up on that movie that become disenfranchised apparently can associate with Luke Skywalker more than Holden Caufield.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Hopefully, Reno 911 will rip this from the headlines like Law & Order does and have Dangle and the boys try to chase down Kevin Riley, the guy Hart mentioned yesterday as his recruiter and also a redshirt QB for Cal.
In an unrelated story, I am currently deciding between marriage proposals from Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel, but I would consider Oprah if she would recruit me more heavily.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Stevenson's sucker bet this year involves a beard growing contest with Drew Gooden. Gooden is five inches bigger and has a history of mixing up his hair going back to Kansas, most notably with his Hare Krishna like patch from last season. It looks like Stevenson has a long way to go, because Gooden already looks like a black Santa.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Two months into his Lakers tenure, Jackson questioned Brown's toughness and his inability to recover from a strained right hamstring. "I'm not putting pressure other than just call him (a sissy) every time I see him in the locker room," Jackson said. Jackson accented his assessment by making cat-like "meow" sounds as Brown walked past him. Later, Jackson walked into the locker room, pointed to a brown mink coat stashed on top of the coat rack and started laughing hysterically. "See that's Kwame's," he said.
After a triple-overtime loss to the Charlotte Bobcats in December of last season - in which Kobe Bryant scored 58 points - Jackson put the blame on Brown, who had three turnovers down the stretch. "We're going to feed him Butterfingers on the flight home just so he can feel the effects of it."
A few months later, when the Lakers visited Washington, Jackson skipped the morning shootaround and took his team on a tour of the monuments. He didn't waste the opportunity to take another dig at Brown. "I think we had other guys who'd never seen them, like Kwame Brown," Jackson said. "I hear he came here but I don't think he ever did that."
Yesterday, Jackson basically blamed most of Brown's struggles on injuries that have robbed him of his explosiveness and quickness. Then, he added, "Kwame still has an upside that people haven't seen. He's going to get better opportunities than he did here."
That might be news to Memphis General Manager Chris Wallace, who explained his reasoning for making the Pau Gasol deal by stating, "Brown was the largest expiring contact we could find." Ouch. He didn't even waste any time trying to make anyone believe that the Grizzlies expected anything from Brown, who might not be around long enough to get booed out of Memphis, like he did in Washington and Los Angeles.
I know Kwame has notoriously thin skin, but I'll give him enough credit that it wasn't Jackson's jokes that stunted his development to the point where he's averaging the fewest points since his rookie year.
Monday, February 4, 2008
The worst commercial by far is the incredibly racist Salesgenie panda commercial. I mean, wow, how the hell did they let that on the air but GoDaddy has to tone their commercial down. The only thing that could have made it worse was if they ran a laundromat instead of a furniture store.
The play could have been called dead when Manning was in the Patriots' grasp, and Eli isn't known as a scrambler, so the first part of the play was flukish. Tyree had only four receptions in the regular season, and anyone making a catch against their helmet is a rare highlight, so the second part of the play is flukish. And to paraphrase the ol' ball coach, The Fluke is short and available.
In hindsight, the Giants learned more about the Patriots from their week 17 matchup than the Patriots learned about the Giants. Steve Spagnuolo must have seen some cracks in the Patriots offensive line, and Belichick never adjusted. Which is eerily reminiscent of the Patriots' monumental upset of the Rams, where Mike Martz never called any max protect. The Giants repeatedly pulled Fred Robbins outside and brought Justin Tuck (not a starter) up the middle, and rushed Tuck at the right guard almost every down after Stephen Neal left the game.
If the Redskins pull up the Brinks truck to Steve Spagnuolo's jersey estate today (rookie coaches typically make $2-$2.6 million for a 3 or 4 year deal, Snyder would probably pay him about $3 million) then they totally redeem themselves for their extended head coaching search. NFL rules penalize assistant coaches on Super Bowl teams, as the Redskins are the only opening left. Spagnuolo may turn Snyder down, with him not being able to choose his coaching staff or players, but it won't come down to money.
So where does this rank all time in terms of upsets? The Jets/Colts is from a different era in terms of media exposure of the AFL and NFL, so it really can't be compared. So that just leaves Patriots/Rams and Broncos/Packers. The Broncos upset was clearly the smallest upset of these three, in terms of point spread and revisionist history. Looking back it isn't that big of a surprise the Broncos undersized cut-blocking line were able to hold the aging, less athletic Packers defensive line in check. With the scandal emerging around the Patriots/Rams Super Bowl, revisionist history says of course the Patriots won because they did a better job cheating. Maybe in a few years we'll hear the Giants bugged Patriots practices, or they were all on HGH, but after this weekend it's hard not to call this the biggest NFL upset in 39 years.
From the start of the playoffs, the Giants are by far the most unlikely Super Bowl champ. They're the second wild card team to win the Super Bowl, but the 2005 Steelers were a year removed from going 15-1 and were just getting healthy in the playoffs. The Giants lost Tiki Barber to retirement and Jeremy Shockey to injury. The were blowed out, as Emmitt would say, by the Vikings Thanksgiving Day weekend. I believe the Giants were something like 25:1 to start the playoffs; Vegas Watch had them as the second longest odds in the playoffs.
Friday, February 1, 2008
An interesting sidenote to this trade is it unites two notable Michael Jordan draft picks - Kwame Brown and Juan Carlos Navarro. Memphis could be headed to a historically bad season because they'll have no choice but to play Kwame 40 minutes a game, with no other legitimate big men on Memphis. But with Kwame and Stromile Swift coming off the books Memphis may be in a position to make a run at Gilbert Arenas.
Personally, Emmitt is my favorite analyst right now. I can't wait to hear his butcher the English language without saying anything remotely relevant. He cited "L. Cool J.J." recently in response to one of Sean Salisbury's catchphrases. I sincerely hope he'll be back with the worldwide leader next year.
The Orioles have had some Hall of Fame players over the years, most notably Frank and Brooks Robinson, Jim Palmer, and Cal Ripken, Jr. The list of great Bullets begins with Wes Unseld and ends with Elvin Hayes. And the Redskins have won five championships going back to the days of Sammy Baugh, professional football's first superstar. The Terrapins' biggest star over the years was Len Bias, who won two ACC Player of the Year Awards but no Naismiths. Ray Lewis, the face of the Ravens, is maybe the most dominant defensive player in the NFL over the last decade.
Out of these, Baugh is the only consensus most dominant athlete in their sport at one time, although Lewis and Bias were in the argument. Lewis was overshadowed by the dominant skill position guys like Marshall Faulk, Peyton Manning, and Brett Favre, and Bias never made it past the Sweet 16. But every single one I mentioned played in front of bigger crowds than the 14,000 or so that are coming to see the Capitals, and their exploits consistently led local sports. Much like Ovechkin's game last night. If the Caps can make a run to at least the conference finals this year, you have to figure that the fans will come, the Caps will be above the fold in The Post, and Ovechkin will own this city.