Tuesday, March 17, 2009

An ARod Haiku

I love you ARod
You are truly beautiful
Sincerely, ARod

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Do not try to rape a bouncer's 68 year old mother

If I was told by a 6'5", 299 lb bouncer that I was going to die tonight, I think I might just shit myself. OK I would shit myself. I mean, just reading the story made me pee a little bit.

Andre Smith paddles backward

Alabama's pro day was yesterday, and Andre Smith continues to not do himself any favors. Since December, he's been suspended for the Sugar Bowl, abruptly left the NFL Combine without telling anyone, and failed to put up any numbers at his pro day that would register close to the top 10 among offensive linemen at the combine. But on the bright side, as Smith is quick to point out, he does have a fabulous smile.

By the way, I am referring to to the similarity between Smith's man-boobs to paddles from a paddle boat by the title of this post, if it were a tad too subtle for you. (See more flopping than Vlade Divac and Jamaican short distance runners combined at 2:34.) Boom, roasted.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Ernie, start the reactor

Wizards owner Abe Pollin has seen better days. But on the brighter side he does have his own organs, unlike his doppelganger from Total Recall.