Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Airing of Sports Greivances

WTF was with the Orange Bowl last night? That was a BCS Bowl? Boise State could have played either of those teams with 19 hours off and named their score. I felt the same sense of guilt watching that game as when I was a fat and ate like 15 cookies my dad made in 10 minutes. Like why can't I quit bowl season? It's insulting to fans and alumni at schools, like you better wait to book that New Years trip to Jacksonville until we know if we're 3rd or 4th in this crap conference. I like how Green Bay is doing it: they're invading Glendale right now like Americans at pretty much any foreign tourist destination to see their team for which it is actually impossible to get tickets, leaving Siberian like conditions for high 50s at night.

And how can Arenas possibly be this retarded? I mean I hope the release the hell out of him, Vick-ify him. Vin Baker is sitting on his couch - ok, at a bar - toasting what a dumbass he is. You're healthy for two weeks in four years so you turn locker room into the bar from Unforgiven? What happens when Saunders asks him to play defense (I know, ha ha!) and he pulls a nine? And what's with Arenas not paying gambling debts? Didn't he take Stevenson for six figures shooting one-handed threes with his foot clearly on the line? Arenas was just suspended, by the way. I wanted to go to a game with a sign that had the word "Bullets" somehow, now it won't be the same.

And regarding Shanahan, I don't love Elway, so I'll never say he only won because of Elway. I'll say he only won because his team violated salary cap rules and had to forfeit 2 third rounders and $2 million. Plus his last two years the Skins won two more games than the Broncos. On the plus side Shanahan's last draft was his best (Clady 1, Royal 2, Hillis 7) and the Broncos shat the bed with their picks last year. Plus the Texans had the #3 offense in 08, #4 last year, so I'm on born with Kyle as OC. Here's what I'd consider an ideal draft for Washington: Okung 1, Colt McCoy 2. McCoy is perfect for his offense, rolling pocket over half the time, tons of boots in the red zone.

And how about Campbell lowering the boom on Portis? He's now my freaking hero. It was like a freestyle rap battle where the one guy goes first and it's lame, and then the next guy goes and everyone screams "Oooohhhhh" after like every line. Maybe CP will come out and blame an alternate personality that kisses the bosses ass and takes shots at coworkers, like Brownnose Bennie. On a Redskins Insider poll 3% sided with Portis, I don't think I've ever seen a poll with three choices where something got less than 3%. I mean Cerrato's approval rating had to be greater than 3%, and he was truly hated. Cutting Portis only saves the vet minimum (blame Snyder for guaranteeing him $7 million this offseason) and it still seems like there's no chance he's coming back.

Rack me.

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