I'm not a huge Bill Simmons fan, but he had a fairly humorous script for a potential "Where Isiah happens" commercial. Cue Philip Glass.
(Picture of the '05 Suns celebrating after a playoff win.)
Where Phoenix dumps the Stephon Marbury and Penny Hardaway contracts on someone and remakes its team into a contender happens.
(Picture of the '07 Bulls celebrating after a playoff win.)
Where Chicago dumps Eddy Curry for two lottery picks and copious amounts of cap space happens.
(Picture of the '07 Raptors celebrating after a playoff win.)
Where Toronto finds some dummy to take Jalen Rose's contract and aid its rebuilding process happens.
(Picture of San Antonio's 2005 trophy celebration.)
Where San Antonio dumps Malik Rose's contract for a center who helps them win the title happens.
Picture of the '08 Blazers celebrating after a last-second win.)
Where the 2008 Blazers become the most likable young team in the league because they found a taker for Zach Randolph happens.
(Picture of a white SUV.)
Where a Truck Party happens.
(Picture of Anucha Browne Sanders celebrating on the courthouse steps.)
Where a humiliating $11 million sexual harassment settlement happens.
(Picture of Curry and Randolph looking overweight.)
Where an NBA frontcourt that includes two C-cups happens.
(Picture of a mostly empty Madison Square Garden.)
Where a 60-year tradition of professional basketball goes down the tubes happens.
(Picture of Isiah sitting on the bench with that frozen, blank look on his face like he's either flatlining or planning to kill everyone on the locker room after the game.)
Where Isiah Happens.