The grossest video you've seen today

NBC has taken this video down of Hungarian weightlifter Janos Baranyai pulling a Theisman on his right arm, but it's still up at Withleather. The first thing any red blooded American should think of is the classic SNL skit of the All Drug Olympics.

Zombietown USA

Apparently, there's a small town in Florida near the Alabama border where it became fashionable to lose a limb and collect on insurance. In fact, "more than two-thirds of all loss-of-limb accident claims in the United States in the late '50s and early '60s come from the Florida Panhandle." Renowned documentary filmmaker Errol Morris (The Thin Blue Line, The Fog of War) attempted to make a documentary about this twisted town, but while sitting at a bar, "a citizen twice Morris's size smiled as he extinguished a cigarette on the lapel of Morris's blazer." He ended up releasing Vernon, Florida without any "Nub City" references, but a white trash expose:

What Morris produced instead was 56 minutes of surreal monologues from an idle police officer, an obsessive turkey hunter, a pastor fixated on the word "therefore," a couple convinced that the sand they keep in a jar is growing, and, among others, an old man who claims he can write with both hands at once... Roger Ebert called it an "unforgettable film."

The thought of seeing these Jerry Springer watchers limping around the streets to go to the corner store and drop blood money on beef jerky is scarier to me than any zombie flick. Maybe I've led a privileged life but never in my wildest dreams have I considered shooting off a part of my body for money. I remember seeing an episode of ER like this, where some strung out couple needed money to score a fix. Even for them, your left hand has to be worth something pretty significant.

Robot gun kills 9, who saw that coming?

A robotic anti-aircraft gun malfunctioned in South Africa, killing nine and injuring 14. Apparently the only reason it stopped firing is it ran out of ammo. When the soldiers received their duties for that day, do you think they were excited about getting to see this technological marvel, or were they like "Oh @$&%, this is just like Robocop 2!" This is a scary development for anyone who has ever seen a Robocop, Terminator, Matrix, or Will Smith movie.

"Like somebody bungee jumped off my right nut"

It's officially a lower abdominal strain, but Ken Griffey, Jr.'s description of his latest injury is the most gruesome sentence I've ever seen. I mean, holy crap, if faced with the decision of someone bungee jumping off a nut versus, I don't know, getting blown up by a nuclear bomb, at least the bomb might give you super powers, if comic books are based on reality.