Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Seinfeld casting

I've been working on equating every character on Seinfeld to an NFL personality, inspired by Here's what I've come up with so far:
  • Jerry Seinfeld = Roger Goodell. Both call all the shots in their circle.
  • George Constanza = Daniel Snyder. Both huge neurotics.
  • Cosmo Cramer = Gene Upshaw. Both seem a little crazy and live fantastic lives without much ability.
  • Elaine Benes = Suzi Kolber. They both seem to be kind of easy, comfortable hanging out with the boys.
  • Newman = Carl Poston. I can picture him walking into a GM's office, and the GM saying "Hello, Poston!"
  • Uncle Leo = Art Modell. Hanging out on the sidelines of training camp, talking to whoever will listen.
  • Mr. Pitt = Ralph Wilson (Bills owner). Humorless rich old man.
  • Babu Bhatt = Tony Dungy. You're a bad man T.O. for showing flesh on TV before MNF, very bad man
  • George Steinbrenner = Drew Rosenhaus. The cadence of their monologues are very similar.
  • Kenny Bania = Joe Theismann. Neither can shut up.
  • Jackie Childs = Herman Edwards. They look and speak alike.
  • Crazy Joe Davola = Joey Porter. Both will walk up and sucker punch you.
  • Mike Moffit (phony) = Pacman Jones. One takes a parking spot way too seriously, the other take strip clubs way too seriously, both lie to the big guy.
  • Mickey Abbott (little person) = Bill Polian. Both have Napoleon complexes.
  • The Drake = Peyton Manning. Everyone loves the Peyton.
  • Dr. Whatley (anti-dentite) = Tony Kornheiser. Took MNF job just for the jokes.
  • Katie (the indecisive agent played by Debra Jo Rupp from That 70s Show) = Joe Segal. Can't take a shit unless it's slotted.
  • Sally Weaver (Kathy Griffin) = T.O. Her Jerry routine was very similar to T.O.'s Garcia routine. They both implied that they were gay.
  • Sue Ellen Mischke (chocolate heir) = Heather Kozar. Playmate of the Year's hotness caused feud between Tim Couch and Cade McNown, Mischke walking around in a bra hurt Jackie Child's trial.
  • Izzy Mandlebaum (Lloyd Bridges) = Mike Ditka. The only NFL personality that I can picture saying "Do you think you're better than me? Watch me lift this radiator above my head!"
  • Izzy, Sr. = Al Davis. An older, more stubborn Ditka.

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